how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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