I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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