I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
