I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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