i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
