it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I understand Curling. That high.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
