I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize