ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
not ubering you a puppy
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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