Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
