Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
