I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
