can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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