I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
