i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
