is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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