in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
