Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
