If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
