please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
