Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
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