u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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