i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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