Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Still dying that you shit outside
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
