Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
