if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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