playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
