you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
