we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
