Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
