She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
