i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Randomize
