I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
