just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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