apparently the secret to your success is patron
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
