David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
