where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
