If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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