So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
