Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
