I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
