Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
