Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
