Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
