My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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