So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
But break dance skills will only take you so far
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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