just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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