I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
that's an acceptable place to lick
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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