once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
sex in a hospital.. check
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize