i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
