i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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