Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
