Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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