Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
