okay pat passed out under dana's car
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
