I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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