quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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