She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
don't judge my taste in strippers
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Randomize
