It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize