sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
