How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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