Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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