After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
