I cockslap morals
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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