You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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