I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
