I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
