I have demons in me.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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