I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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